I love my children. I do.
(can you tell the other shoe is about to drop?)
I really do. BUT.
They have worn me out lately. I don’t know what it is. If it’s me and a sever lack of energy. Or if it is because of them, and the fact that Clara is now completely mobile and that Jerry has (weeping and gnashing of teeth) given up his naps, seemingly. It is probably some combination of the two. All that I know is that it has made for two busy children and one worn out mother. Rob and I have a busy month ahead of us. I don’t quite know how it happened, but it seems like October has already filled up with things to do, people and places to see and events to attend.
This has been somewhat daunting. We are already feeling like we need to be everywhere at the same time. I’m trying to keep it into perspective. There are three weddings to celebrate and one to even be a part of. One that we won’t get to make it to because of scheduling. Three celebrations. Three journeys starting. Three bride and groom pairs who are probably stressed to the max and exhausted right about now, in the final throes of planning. And other happy events. There are four couples that we know who are celebrating their anniversaries this month. And a handful of birthdays along the way.
This is all on top of the normal running around and chasing that we do everyday. When we follow little people around the house, cleaning up after their messes and trying to keep up with their busy little hands and feet. Meals to cook. Laundry to fold. Dishes to wash. I don’t know why, but lately, I feel like my days have felt different. In an exhausting way. But also in a very, very good way.
I guess if you’re going to be busy, stressed and exhausted then these are the reasons to be so.
Chasing happy children. Celebrating weddings. Celebrating anniversaries. Celebrating birthdays.
Tending to your home, your home that is filled with joy and laughter.
A good kind of busyness. A good kind of noise. A good kind of hurry.
If you’re going to be hurry, these are the kind of things that I guess we should be hurrying around after.
On a side note…
I feel a call this month to disconnect from the things that don’t matter as much.
I want to disconnect from my smart phone, the television, the media (and its grim election coverage.) I want to separate from all of the clutter. The junk that I feel like I worship day in and day out. I have sometimes wondered why I am constantly worn out. I have wondered why no matter what I do or how much sleep I get I never feel rested. And while there are physical taxes on my body during the day, what truly exhausts me is my mind. It never stops. It never takes a pause. And a large part of the reason for that is because I never give it the chance. I fill it with junk every chance that I get.
I hadn’t considered until recently that I feel like I am completely tuned in with all of these mediums (film, internet, television, etc..) while sometimes not at all engaged with what is actually going on around me. Be it in my home, in my own life or in the lives of those around me, I am glossing over the big stuff. I have my priorities backwards. I’m worshipping the wrong things with my actions. I make time to check Facebook, Twitter and read up on the news or watch the television, but do I just as carefully carve out time to be intentional with my children? Do I make the time to call up friends and see just how they are? Do I make the time to be in community with other believers and encourage them? Do I make the time to make my husband feel like he is the best guy in the world?
No. Not enough.
Now don’t get me wrong, telling someone on Facebook is great and very thoughtful, but how much better would a phone call be? Being informed during this election season is important and admirable, but I should be even more well versed in the matters that go on in my home and with those that I love. I’m seeking after the wrong things to give my time to. And what is worse, is that I see some of these attitudes starting to take shape in my children. If that isn’t a wake up call to any parent, then I don’t know what is.
I don’t quite know what it will all look like yet, this mission of mine. But I’m trying to prayerfully contend with what God wants to show me.
Until we meet again, whenever that may be amongst the chaos, take care!!
Colossians 3: 1-4:
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.
2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.