How is is possible that a week would drag on and yet fly by at the same time?
Ever hear the saying,”there are two things certain in life – death and taxes”? I’m sure that you have. Sometimes I feel that as a parent and stay at home mom I can modify that statement to something more relevant to my lifestyle. To something along the lines of “there are a few things certain in motherhood – difficulty, the bittersweet moments and joy.” Do those three things speak to you? I feel like those words have resonated so much for me the past few weeks. What would your “certainty statement” say?
Difficulty. Difficulty because…of the obvious. So much rides on you when you’re a stay at home mother. Where do I begin? Difficulty because each new stage that your littles enter into brings upon an entire new set of challenges. Clara is now mobile. Enough said. And Jerry has reached a point where every few weeks, and nearly everyday, he wants to push his limits. He wants to test. And, for the life of me, he wants to argue. This is hard for me. Words matter a lot to me. And to boot, it is my primary love language. And though I know and understand that my little man is only three and doesn’t understand the implications of the things that he says or how he says them, sometimes it is challenging to not feel hurt or unappreciated. I have struggled with this lately. And am having to cry out to God to give me the patience, love and steadfastness to get through each day – and those moments when I want to give in. Have you noticed that my past few posts have been seeming a bit more frazzled lately? No coincidence.
Funny though, for as much weight as I lend to them it is sometimes my words that I struggle with the most. For instance, the way I word things or the tone in which I say things. And our words convey our attitudes. Where is my attitude? Is my attitude one that is ungrateful and impatient? One that wants to fight my Lord every day, tooth and nail, much like the petulant child? Do I convey a content heart and honor God in front of my children? Some food for thought for me and perhaps for you.
Difficulty because you will pick up the same toys and messes almost everyday. You will clean your kitchen 3 or 4 times in one day. The same arguments, temper tantrums and crying spells. How do we fight against feeling like we are stuck in the mundane. Much like a surgeon or a police officer isn’t as prone to shock when they see the worst of the worst day in and day out…don’t we as moms fight against the feelings of becoming jaded to the everyday? Do we miss those moments to love our children and to enjoy time with them? I know that I do. I turn into a “no” mom (this blog says it so much better than I.) No to play time, no to time spent reading, but yes to dishes, laundry and errands because I can’t stop. If that is you, stop and say ‘yes’. Find the joy in the moment, readjust your thinking and remind yourself that your littles ARE the most important part of your day. And they need more than PB&J, juice and nap time. They need you.
Difficulty because, after all, we are raising babies. And that is a lot of hard work, or at least it should be.
Bittersweet. I’ve had a few days with bittersweet moments this past week. My babies are each turning a year older within 4 days of one another. Clara turned one on Friday and Jerry turns 3 on Tuesday. I just can’t believe it. I remember those days rushing around trying to make way and get ready for their arrival. Now, they’re both here. And sometimes, I would take those days back. Those days when I was fretting about them being born. Not just because those moments of frustration and stress would be the least of my worries but also because I genuinely miss them. They’re both here. They’re not new anymore. They’re growing so fast.
I was shopping for gifts for Jerry today, looking at everything that they have for little boys in the store. It was staggering. Kits for collecting bugs. Clothes for dress up. Toys for getting messy and for just being a boy. Don’t even get me started on all of the goodies that they have for little girls!! Things that I remember playing with when I was young. Of course, they’re not modified and probably much safer than what we had almost 30 years ago.
Bittersweet because people know what they’re talking about when they say that these years will go so fast. So, so fast. How has 3 years literally passed before my eyes just like that? Time has never flown by as fast as it does now. And it is hard to fathom what it was like before they came. Sure, I miss the free time, sleeping in and extra spending money. But to tell you the truth going without those things I find that on a whole I just don’t miss them as much as I would have thought. I can give up the occasional sushi dinner, but I couldn’t grasp the idea of not having my children here with me. And while some days I’d love to throw in the towel, I know deep down that I can’t get this time back with them again. They’re my littles and they mean so much to me. It sometimes aches to see them grow. Those first steps are the first steps towards their independence. These birthday candles will be much more plentiful in the years to come. I’m going to go ahead and try not to think about that now.
Joy. I love my children. Need I say more? I’m not always the happy mother. But I pray that I will always be the joyful mother. Happiness can be fleeting – who is happy when they’re peed or thrown up on? But she who finds joy despite those moments is truly a wise and loving woman, indeed. How about you? Do you find joy in those difficult and sobering moments? I don’t always. Joy is a gift from God. It is one of the fruits that we can only hope to cultivate over time. Many things are fleeting. Joy that come from the Lord, and that is found in nearly any moment is a GIFT. And potentially constant. My children have brought so much joy to me. I see things differently. I have learned to live without the things I didn’t think I could. I have seen pieces of my own heart that I want to correct and grow in. They have done these things for me and I am so proud of and thankful for them. Unfortunately, this is the smallest paragraph so far for this post. But I feel like it is the most self-explanatory. So on that note…you’re welcome.
You may be wondering where the phrase from my blog title, “where y’at?” comes from. Unfortunately, while I wish that I had some cultured answer to that question I must break the news to you. I read it in a Nora Robert’s book. And before you pick on my completely un-highbrow reading adventures, let me just say that…I don’t care. Because I actually have found time in the past week and a half to read. A few pages, but some. And it was relaxing.
The children are both asleep now. And after having my potential nap time interrupted 24 times, I have given up. I’m awake. There are things to do. There are always things to do. Maybe that should be apart of the “certainty statement. “Several things are certain in motherhood -difficulty, the bittersweet moments, joy…and that there will always be stuff to do.”