what seems to be THE longest week. Ever. I would have thought the week that we were without power for almost 4 days would have taken the cake for title of “longest and most painful week of all time,” but, alas, I was wrong. I can’t really tell you why it was long. Or painful for that matter. But for whatever reason, I was a grumpy mess this week. I was easily frustrated, on edge and depressed. I did have one moment on solidarity earlier this week. I was standing over my laundry basket of folded clothes crying in frustration. I was giving my son his SECOND bath of the day because he decided that instead of napping he needed to bounce around in his crib until he made himself sick. So back in the tub he went. At least his sister was asleep so that I only had to herd one child around. I was over it. I can’t even tell you why. Maybe the constant running around the past two weeks had finally caught up with me, or maybe it is because moments like that don’t ever comE when you are prepared for them by being fully rested and mentally capable of tackling them. They sock you right in the kisser when you aren’t expecting it.
I remember thinking, “I can’t do this, I can’t be a stay at home mom. This is way to hard. This house is a mess and I can’t get ahead. I’m depressed and I don’t know if being home is enough…” and right then and there, God reminded me…
“It isn’t meant to be enough.”
It is so true. The running around, the keeping the house tidy, finding fulfillment in trying to be WHAT I THINK is the ideal housewife is not meant to be enough for me. Only God is meant to fill us and sustain us. Of course, that doesn’t mean that my family isn’t important and that there isn’t work to be done. It doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t strive to be a great mom and wife and friend and daughter and sister, etc…those just aren’t meant to be what fills me up entirely. They aren’t meant to be the only things that I delight in, because unfortunately for me and us, these things will let us down. But God is constant. He is always there for us.
Amen for that.
On a side note, I had a small, sort of spur of the moment 31 Party tonight and man, purse and bag shopping happens to be a lot of fun! I don’t know why I’m surprised by this, but I am. Plus, girl time allows me the chance to buy goat cheese and crackers and make brownies and then consume all of the aforementioned things in mass quantity. Usually while laughing and enjoying myself.